A theatrical reading of Jane Austin´s Pride and Prejudice

Prologue

And now.... a few characters from Pride and Prejudice, tired of arguing about their opinions decide to take a travel through the time tunnel.

When a girl have some issues to discuss, when a girl's thoughts can't be understand by her family and society, what does she do to try to solve it? Write a book? Where can she go? To a shrink? Starring a mexican soap opera? Appear in all tabloids? No... nowaday we have a better solution. The right place for a girl to go and know for sure she will be listened and understood. Only one person has the answers to every single thing nowadays...

And this is what we are going to show you…

Play

Voz de fundo: Liiiiiive, from the BBC Studios... The Oprah Winfrey Show! And with you ... Oprah Winfrey!!!

Platéia: ÉÉÉÉÉ!! (BERROS E APLAUSOS)

Oprah entra arrasando.

Oprah: Thank you, thank you. Welcome to one more Oprah Winfrey Show! And today, we have a very serious issue to talk about. And it is something that happens to a lot of girls nowadays... What to do when you start getting to old to grab a husband???

Platéia: (cochichos e olhares sérios): “Yeah...” “Oh God...” “I wouldn’t know…”

Oprah: And what should a mother do when her daughter is getting old but is too proud to accept the proposals she receives?

Platéia: Ooooohhhh.

Oprah: Yeah... I know... So, the first guest I will receive here today is Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Elizabeth entra cheia de orgulho, arrogância e imponência. Platéia aplaude.

Oprah: Well people… Miss Bennet here is a good example of what we were just talking about. She is a 20 year old girl and is still single....

Mrs. Bennet entra berrando: Not for long!!!!

Mrs. Bennet olha a platéia e finge falso rubor e vergonha.

Oprah: Mrs. Bennet, ladies and gentleman! This young lady's mother.

Platéia aplaude sem entender muito.

Mrs. Bennet se enfia entre Elizabeth e Oprah no sofá, mandando Elizabeth "move over".

Mrs. Bennet: Thank you... Well... I was waiting backstage, reading a book and not paying much of attention, but you know... (e num tom mais baixo e se aproximando de Oprah) you cannot just tell everyone about my daughter's... er... condition... like this. Such a beautiful and gifted girl will soon get married. And she even has 2 suitors...

Elizabeth: Mother! I do not have...

Mrs. Bennet: Yes you do! (e baixinho perto dela) I know what I am doing. Propaganda is everything in this business... especially when nationally spread through TV!

Elizabeth: Mo...

Mrs. Bennet: Shh! (e para Oprah) As I was saying, she had a suitor... But that fake friend of hers... Charlotte Lucas, grabbed him, poor Mr. Colins, when he came here to propose to my daughter.

Elizabeth: Mother! I refused him! And she is not...

Mrs. Bennet: Shh! I mean, I know she is 27 year old, and would never find anyone who would want her by this time, but...

Um barulho de risadinhas no fundo do palco chama a atenção de Oprah. Kitty estava numa cochia espiando e rindo. Mary atrás dela, parece entediada.

Oprah: And who are those...

Mrs Bennet: My other beautiful daughters!!! (acena para elas entrarem no palco e para que o público aplauda). Kitty entra e se senta no sofá apertando cada vez mais Elizabeth. Mary não sai da cochia. Mrs. Bennet arruma Kitty e a manda sorrir. Kitty sorri e se exibe exageradamente.

Mrs Bennet para Mary (séria): Mary! Come here! Will you have a better chance of finding yourself a husband than in TV?

Mary entra contra a vontade e se larga no sofá. Mrs. Bennet a arruma também.

Mrs. Bennet (para suas filhas): Smile, smile... Remember, there is no better chance to be noticed by lots of possible suitors than in TV!

Mrs. Bennet: These are Mary, who is 18 years old, and Kitty, who is 17. Look how pretty they are! And also very gifted. I still have Jane, my elder daughter. She has married a handsome nobleman called Mr. Bingley, I am sure you know who he is. So she did not need… I mean, she could not be here tonight...

Oprah: But I understand that you have one more daughter, don't you Mrs. Bennet?

Mrs. Bennet's happy face fades, but she pretends happiness talking about Lydia. : OH... yes... well My Lydia is already married as well, and at the age of 15, you know...

Elizabeth: She hasn't gotten married! She was seduced by Mr. Wickham and has eloped with him!

Mrs. Bennet: She is married now! Different from you, who is seated here being called single right now! You are not getting any younger, you know?

Elizabeth: Oh! And thanks to you that she has eloped, I mean (com ironia) gotten married, isn't it mother?

Mrs Bennet: Oh! I am going to call your father, missy... Mr. Beeeeenneeet.

Elizabeth: Oh God! Let my poor father alone, for God's sake...

Mrs. Bennet: Mr. Beeeeenneeeet. He is never... He is always in that chamber!

Elas começam a discutir, Mary e Kitty também entram na bagunça e Oprah interrompe tentando controlar a bagunça das mulheres Bennet. (Elizabeth.: “Oh my God Mother...” Mrs Bennet: “What? It is true…Oh, my nervs...” Kitty: “ Mom, mom! Am I looking beautiful??” Mary: Oh God… here we go” – todas ao mesmo tempo)

Oprah: Ladies, LADIES! As I understand Miss Lydia as been founded and now is married, thanks to a noble man...

Elizabeth: Aaaaafffff..

Oprah: Mr. Darcy, wasn't him?

Mrs. Bennet: Oh Yes! Mr. Darcy! What a gentleman! And now he wants to marry my daughter Elizabeth! And she going to accept it!

Elizabeth (revoltada): What??? I am not going to...

Oprah: Ladies.... Why don't we call Mr. Darcy here and he tell us if he is going to propose to Elizabeth or not?

Elizabeth: Aaaaafff....

Oprah: Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy!

Platéia aplaude, berra e suspira. (lindoooo) (cartazes: Mr. Darcy, if she doesn't marry you, I will!)

Mr. Darcy entra no palco, olha para as Bennets, faz cara de desdém, e se senta do outro lado de Oprah, tentando manter distancia das Bennets.

Oprah: So, Mr. Darcy. You are the hero who helped the Bennets and the Gardners finding young Lydia!

Mr. Darcy: Well… yeah…

Mrs Bennet (empolgada): And now he wants to marry my Elizabeth!

Elizabeth: Mother!

Mr Darcy: Actually… She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.

Platéia: Oooohhhh!

Elizabeth: (para sua mãe) You see! And this is what I get for you attempts to throw me to the most prejudiced man I have ever seen! Did you forget that he was the one who almost destroyed Jane's marriage with his friend, Mr. Bingley? Only because of prejudice? I would never marry such an arrogant lord!

Platéia: Oooohhh!

Mr. Darcy: But… you have to understand that I thought she was not actually attached to him, that she only wanted to marry him because you all are…

Elizabeth (indignada): What??? What are we???

Platéia: Oooohhh!

Oprah: Darlings… please! Let´s see what does our audience thinks.

Oprah se levanta e vai com um microfone até a platéia, onde uma mulher está ansiosa para falar.

Oprah: Yes dear! What do you think?

Audience 1: I’m with you, girl!!! He’s arrogant, he’s snobbish… He doesn’t deserve you! You are intelligent, you’re waaay ahead of your time! YOU ARE A CHICK FROM ENLIGHTENMENT, GIRL!

Platéia aplaude e berra concordando.

Oprah: Girls, girls! Let’s see another opinion...

Outra pessoa na platéia levanta.

Audience 2: Oh, I HAVE to say something!

Oprah: Yes dear?

Audience 2: (para a audience 1)Oh, shut up girl!!! (e para Elizabeth) Why don’t you just grab him??? He is handsome, he is rich, he is influent… He is SOOOOOOO in love with you!!! What else do you need in a man??? (e para Mr Darcy, numa voz sedutora) And Mr Darcy… If she doesn’t want you… I DO!!! Actually, my cell phone is 9…

Oprah: OK GIRL!!! THANK YOU!

Mrs Bennet: You see!!! That’s how you should be acting!!! He is a good man! He will be good for you.

Oprah (encantada com a preocupação de Mrs. Bennet com a filha): Oooohh... See, Elizabeth! Your mother only wants you to be well.

Mrs Bennet: Of course!!! Have you seen his posesions? Here! Look! I have some pictures! (e mostra umas fotos para Oprah e Elizabeth) Look how huuuuge his rear state is! And look at this art works! He even has an statue of himself in the middle of the house!

Oprah e Darcy olham para Mrs Bennet espantados com a total falta de noção dela.

Elizabeth arranca as fotos da mão de Mrs Bennet.

Elizabeth: OH MOTHER!!!

Mrs Bennet (sem entender): What??

Elas começam a discutir novamente.

Oprah: DEARS, DEARS… PLEASE!!! (e para Elizabeth) Darling... Don't you see that this man has always loved you?

Platéia: Ooooohhhh

Oprah (se dirigindo a Elizabeth quase que de forma maternal): And that when he realized that he was wrong about your sister Jane, he encouraged Mr.Bingley to marry her, which he Did!

Platéia: Oooohhh

Oprah: And that even though he is a nobleman, still he has helped your family when your sister Lydia eloped with Mr. Wickham, only because of his affection towards you?

Platéia: Oooohhh

Mrs Bennet (nervosa e angustiada): And for God's sake! This man has already proposed you twice! How many proposals do you think you still have ahead to dismiss????

Platéia (aplaudindo e berrando): YEEEEEAAAHHHH

Oprah (com um olhar perspicaz, de quem está armando algo): People, people... I think Mr. Darcy here has something to say to Elizabeth, don't you think?

Platéia: Ooooohhhh

Mrs. Bennet: Oh, God, I hope he still has...

Oprah (com toda sua labia): Come on Mr. Darcy... one last try...

Mr. Darcy: Ok, ok....

Mr. Darcy se levanta e ajoelha de frente para Elizabeth

Mr. Darcy: Elizabeth... will you finally accept to marry me??

Elizabeth: Ahm... I thiiink I may....

Mrs. Bennet (revoltada): You think???? You think????

Oprah: Giiiiiiirl... this attitude of yours is going waaaaaaay too far....

Mr. Darcy (revoltado, com o orgulho ferido, se levantando e dando as costas): I knew it... She is too damn proude to...

Elizabeth (se levantando): Ok, ok. I will!!

Platéia (APLAUDINDO): YEEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!

Mr. Darcy hugs Elizabeth and spins her around.

Oprah: And this was The Oprah Winfrey Show, live from the BBC studios! Don't miss next week when we are going to discuss if man can actually create life with his bare hands, with the presence of a doctor who says he actually did it!
Audience 2 levanta o seu cartaz para Mr. Darcy e o vira ao contrário, onde diz: Frankstein, if nobody else wants you, I’ll marry you!

Platéia (APLAUDINDO): ÉÉÉÉÉÉÉEÉ


THE END

THE HUMAN ABSTRACT A theatrical reading of Shelley´s Frankenstein

List of Characters:
The Tree
The Creature
Dr. Frankenstein
Mrs. Frankenstein
Frankenstein´s friends
Teacher (a woman)
Husband
Children


ACT I

Scene I:

(Lights are off. The Creature enters holding a flashlight to his face.)

The Creature:

“The Gods of the Earth and sea
Sought thro´ Nature to find this tree
But their search was all in vain:
There grows one in the Human Brain.”


(The Creature turns off flashlight, lays on a table. Dr. Frankenstein stands by his side).


Scene II:

(The tree rises from the ground and lights a candle.)

Tree:

“What the hammer?
What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dead grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?”



(The Creature, lying down, turns on flashlight. He opens his eyes.)

Dr. Frankenstein:

What have I done?

(Dr. Frank steps back into darkness. Leaves.
The Creature, alone, crawls and leans against a wall. He rises, walks around, listens, touches things. He hides to watch the family.)


Scene III:

(At the blackboard. Woman teaching children to read, writes the word FRIEND on the board. She points at each letter.The Creature watches, hidden.)

Child #1:
F – R – I – E – N – D

Child #2:
Friend!

Teacher:
Everyone!

Children:
Friend!

The Creature:
Friend.


Scene IV:

(The Creature walks, sits down. He brushes away a fly.)

The Creature:

“Little fly
Thy summer´s play
My thoughtless hand
Has brushed away
Am not I a fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?”


(The family, walking, sees the Creature. Children scream, man hits him with a shovel. The Creature runs away.)


ACT II

Scene I:

The Tree:

“And their sun does never shine,
And their fields are bleak and bare
And their ways are filled with thorns
It is eternal winter there”

(The Creature runs up and down.
He meets Dr. Frankenstein with his wife, and friends. The Creature pushes them down.
Dr. Frank stands alone, screams, runs away. Creature runs after him. They leave the room.)

The Tree:

“Cruelty has a human heart
And jealousy ahuman face
Terror the human form divine
And secrecy the human Dress.”

(Dr. Frank runs into the room. He starts to slow down, falls, dies.
The Creature runs in, sees him, kneels down by his side)

The Creature:

“This is also my victim! In his murder my crimes are consumated, the miserable series of my being is wound to its close! Oh, Frankenstein! Generous and self-devoted being! What does it avail that I now ask thee to pardon me? I, who irretrievably destroyed thee by destroying all thou lovedst. Alas! He is cold, he cannot answer me.”

(The Creature turns off flashlight, hugs Dr. Frank.)

The Tree:

“The night was dark, no father was there.
The child was wet with dew.
The mire was deep and the child did weep,
And away the vapour flew.”

Ensaio sobre o conto "Estão apenas Ensaiando" de Bernardo Carvalho

A PIADA DO ILUMINADOR

No conto Estão Apenas Ensaiando, Bernardo Carvalho desconstrói ironicamente o conceito de verossimilhança, demonstrando que a imprevisibilidade e o mistério do mundo real ultrapassam os limites da mímese.
A ironia revela-se desde o início, e elementos cômicos parecem anunciar a tragédia subseqüente. Um deles é o estribilho “estão apenas ensaiando”, que repetidas vezes ao longo da narrativa remete à idéia de que os atores não estão apenas ensaiando e atribui uma significação misteriosa ao ensaio. Além disso, estão presentes a assistente, que ri incessantemente das graças do diretor, e o iluminador, cuja piada, que sofre constantes interrupções, se relaciona diretamente ao desenlace da narrativa. Por não ser revelada e apresentar interrupções que coincidem com as do ensaio, a piada é, aparentemente, a própria situação narrada.
Outros elementos irônicos presentes desde o início do conto desconstroem a noção de verossimilhança ao representar a mímese como autônoma e muito mais lógica e previsível que a realidade. Enquanto a cena sendo ensaiada está no centro dos acontecimentos da narrativa, é bem iluminada e os atores dialogam em “alto e bom som”, a realidade que se desenrola ao redor do palco parece se ocultar na penumbra. O teatro é escuro e os personagens presentes sempre se comunicam em sussurros, cochichos, ou mesmo gestos mudos. Esses elementos enfatizam a superioridade da mímese em relação ao real no que concerne à clareza e à lógica. O homem-silhueta que adentra o teatro, vindo do mundo exterior, que caracteriza um nível ainda mais obscuro de realidade por seu distanciamento, é uma personificação do mistério e da imprevisibilidade da vida real. A mímese ergue-se clara e autônoma acima de um real que é mudo, escuro e distante, e é iluminada pelo único personagem que parece retratar a verossimilhança como uma grande piada.
Tanto o diretor quanto o ator que faz o papel do lavrador, porém, mostram-se insatisfeitos perante a inverossimilhança da peça. O ator critica o texto, enquanto o diretor não se conforma com o “distanciamento” do ator que segundo ele, não seria apropriado na situação. A própria insatisfação do diretor é irônica, visto que esse exige que seja verossímil um diálogo com a morte. Essa necessidade de verossimilhança caracteriza o erro trágico dos personagens, e a própria realidade, personificada no homem misterioso, promove um desenlace absurdo e inacreditável para a narrativa. Em um instante ficcional, mímese e realidade encontram-se e confundem-se: a esposa do ator se transforma na mulher da peça de teatro, enquanto ator e “humilde lavrador” não mais se distinguem. Assim, o “distanciamento”, antes chamado de inverossímil pelo diretor, transforma-se em perfeita aproximação, em realidade. E pela primeira vez, “embora a entonação no palco tenha sido a mesma e devesse portanto, pela lógica, ser mais uma vez interrompida”, a realidade desvia-se da lógica e a interrupção não ocorre. A cena ficcional e a piada do iluminador prosseguem, fechando tragicamente, ao som de gargalhadas, a piada da verossimilhança.
A ironia, portanto permeia todos os níveis de realidade e mímese do conto Estão Apenas Ensaiando, ainda porque a realidade da obra está limitada pelas próprias fronteiras da ficção. Subentende-se então uma última camada de real, que seria o mundo do leitor. Essa construção de diversos níveis de realidade é justamente o que caracteriza a mímese como autônoma, pois se a realidade é tão fragmentada e dividida, em relação a quê poderia a ficção ser verossímil?